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Aug. 13th, 2008 10:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
stillthekeyTitle: She Paints
Fandom/Universe: Hey Arnold!
Character(s): Lila, (Helga)
Rating: K+
Lila paints.
It’s strange. Because Helga was always the creative one -
(and phoebe the smart one and rhonda the beautiful one and Nadine the wild one and sheena the kind one, and yet they said that lila was the perfect one and honestly, she never could understand why)
- but that doesn’t stop her.
Not anymore.
She stopped fearing Helga a long time ago. The girl was honestly more bark than bite and she’d sooner defend you to the death then turn against you. Unless of course you broke the cardinal rule of messing with Arnold. Then Miss Pataki would proceed to beat the ever-loving SHIT out of you until your insides bled out through your ass. But Lila knew better than to go against Arnold anyway, that boy was golden.
Still, she feels as if, perhaps, she is betraying something sacred when she holds the brush against the canvas. Is it really her place to be taking something that shouldn’t belong to her? Helga was here long before Lila had even learned to breathe properly. Helga’s always been here. Lila is little more than visiting, merely buying time before she can return back to real grass and a million billion stars.
(and oh, how she misses the stars)
Anyway, even if it’s wrong of her to be taking something that she still hasn’t earned, she isn’t ready to just give it up. Because when she paints she feels so much closer to belonging, so much closer to truly being one of the girls.
She doesn’t pretend to be good at it. She knows better than that. Her circles still come out lopsided after all. But that’s not the point really.
Sometimes she spreads blue and green across the canvas for no reason at all.
(sometimes her eyes linger on him for just a little too long)
If Helga notices, she never says anything, so Lila imagines that Helga probably doesn’t notice. It’s not in her nature to stay silent when threatened. Helga thrashes and fights and is so much stronger than Lila could ever hope to be.
Lila paints.
But not as well.
Lila exists.
But not as strongly.
Lila feels.
But Helga loves.
And sometimes Lila goes home and paints blue over her eyes in the mirror, spreads yellow where her head should be. Because if Helga is the creative one -
(and phoebe the smart one and rhonda the beautiful one and Nadine the wild one and sheena the kind one and gerald the cool one and stinky the tall one and sid the scared one and harold the weak one and arnold the most loved of all….)
Where does that leave Lila?
(the perfect one?)
She looks at her make-believe Helga face staring back at her in the mirror.
And decides not to think about it.
a/n: Uh, what the hell? This is like the very last thing I should be working on right now.
Whatever. :\
Fandom/Universe: Hey Arnold!
Character(s): Lila, (Helga)
Rating: K+
Lila paints.
It’s strange. Because Helga was always the creative one -
(and phoebe the smart one and rhonda the beautiful one and Nadine the wild one and sheena the kind one, and yet they said that lila was the perfect one and honestly, she never could understand why)
- but that doesn’t stop her.
Not anymore.
She stopped fearing Helga a long time ago. The girl was honestly more bark than bite and she’d sooner defend you to the death then turn against you. Unless of course you broke the cardinal rule of messing with Arnold. Then Miss Pataki would proceed to beat the ever-loving SHIT out of you until your insides bled out through your ass. But Lila knew better than to go against Arnold anyway, that boy was golden.
Still, she feels as if, perhaps, she is betraying something sacred when she holds the brush against the canvas. Is it really her place to be taking something that shouldn’t belong to her? Helga was here long before Lila had even learned to breathe properly. Helga’s always been here. Lila is little more than visiting, merely buying time before she can return back to real grass and a million billion stars.
(and oh, how she misses the stars)
Anyway, even if it’s wrong of her to be taking something that she still hasn’t earned, she isn’t ready to just give it up. Because when she paints she feels so much closer to belonging, so much closer to truly being one of the girls.
She doesn’t pretend to be good at it. She knows better than that. Her circles still come out lopsided after all. But that’s not the point really.
Sometimes she spreads blue and green across the canvas for no reason at all.
(sometimes her eyes linger on him for just a little too long)
If Helga notices, she never says anything, so Lila imagines that Helga probably doesn’t notice. It’s not in her nature to stay silent when threatened. Helga thrashes and fights and is so much stronger than Lila could ever hope to be.
Lila paints.
But not as well.
Lila exists.
But not as strongly.
Lila feels.
But Helga loves.
And sometimes Lila goes home and paints blue over her eyes in the mirror, spreads yellow where her head should be. Because if Helga is the creative one -
(and phoebe the smart one and rhonda the beautiful one and Nadine the wild one and sheena the kind one and gerald the cool one and stinky the tall one and sid the scared one and harold the weak one and arnold the most loved of all….)
Where does that leave Lila?
(the perfect one?)
She looks at her make-believe Helga face staring back at her in the mirror.
And decides not to think about it.
a/n: Uh, what the hell? This is like the very last thing I should be working on right now.
Whatever. :\
